Why ChatGPT Is Wrecking Divorce Cases

Most people don't lose their divorce in the courtroom. They lose it long before they ever get there, through emotional decisions that feel good in the moment and wreck the case later.

In this episode of No One Dies from Divorce, I sit down with CoilLaw attorney Samantha Frazier to break down the biggest mistakes we watch people make over and over, and how to avoid them. The angry text that gets read out loud in court. The "private" social media post your ex will absolutely find. Taking legal advice from friends who weren't married to your spouse. And the newest one I've had to deal with in almost 20 years of practice: clients handing me legal strategy from ChatGPT, complete with court cases that don't exist, which costs them more money, not less.

We also get into why chasing fairness and justice in divorce sets you up to be disappointed, why revenge and pettiness get expensive fast, why "winning" is the wrong goal, and why bringing a new boyfriend or girlfriend into the picture before the divorce is final blows things up almost every time.

If you're going through this, the takeaway is simple. The people who come out best aren't the loudest or the angriest. They're the ones who stay calm, strategic, and focused on the life waiting on the other side.

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⚖️ CoilLaw — Family Law Firm: https://coillaw.com/

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to another episode of No One Dies from Divorce. I'm really excited about this episode because we are talking about the biggest mistakes people make in divorce. And I am telling you, this is something that me and Sam, who is my partner today, we think about and talk about all the time because the mistakes people make can completely derail their outcomes and don't lose their divorce in court. Like they give it away long before they ever walk into the courtroom, either through emotional decisions, social media mistakes, bad advice, and reactions that feel good in the moment but damage the case long term. So Samantha Frazier, my partner in crime, is here to talk about this today. Welcome to the show, Sam. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here and finally get to voice my opinions about the biggest mistakes so we can help people.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Absolutely. So let me introduce her. So Samantha Frazier is an attorney with Coil Law who works closely with clients, navigating some of the hardest and most emotional moments of their lives. She's known for her calm approach, strategic mindset, and ability to cut through chaos. She's been practicing a few years less than me. What are you at now?

SPEAKER_00 1:18

18 17? I think I'm almost uh 15, 16 years.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Yeah. And you went to law school at South Texas Law School in Houston, Texas.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Yes. I'm a Houstonian.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Yes, she is. And in fact, Sam and I both licensed in Texas because we both went to law school here. Sam's from there. We now have a, I would say, a pretty active Texas practice now as well. So if you didn't know, Coil Law is in Texas and we're serving everybody in the in the good old lone star state. So anyway, Sam, I'm really excited you're here. Welcome to the show. Let's talk about some of these biggest mistakes that you and I kind of talk about and shake our head out all the time. So, what we really want to talk about today is why divorce creates emotional decision making. Obviously, that is, I guess, obvious, right? Yeah. Divorce is emotional. And therefore, when you're going through the thick of it, a lot of times your emotions are the only thing that are keeping you from having any kind of, I guess, reactive abilities, anyways, right? It's sometimes it's the only thing that you think is going to continue to help you move forward. One of the things is there's always a disconnect between what clients think matters and then versus what the courts actually care about. So we're gonna talk about that. And we're gonna talk about how your behavior during divorce can directly impact outcomes. And then we're also gonna talk about the importance of strategy over emotions. So I'm really excited to talk about that. So, Sam, kind of bring us into the emotional decision making during divorce.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Okay, so a lot of times clients come into our office and part of our title is counselor. And I think that it gets confused a little bit with therapy. And people are angry, people are fearful, people have a range of emotion. And when they come with a divorce lawyer, they don't know what to expect, they don't know what information that you need, and so they tend to word vomit and data dump. And sometimes they've already made some very emotionally charged decisions before they come into your office. Uh, sometimes they leave your office and decide that they're gonna make some emotionally charged decisions. And so I think as attorneys, we recognize the emotional strategy of it, but at the same time, I think that we as attorneys also remove ourselves from that emotion. I tell my clients all the time, if both of us are crying, nothing gets accomplished. And so I think that people tend to lean into their emotions a lot more in family law than other areas, and it's hard to separate what is legally feasible or what legally will happen versus emotionally what you want to occur. And clients have blurred lines when they're operating from emotion, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

And it's so hard too, because we get it. Getting a divorce is probably one of the most emotional things that you're gonna go through. In fact, they liken all the studies say that going through a divorce can be likened to death, like you having to grieve and go through the death cycle of your marriage. And so me and Sam, like we've been doing this long enough. We're not saying don't have emotion or don't, you know, feel sad about this, or don't go through those stages. But what we want to do as your attorney is we want to help you understand that those emotions are temporary, but some of the decisions you make with emotion can be more long-lasting and could be really hurtful for you or your future when it comes down to the brass tacks of the divorce. And so we're here to be like, you have those emotions, and then let me do my job and listen to me when we are going to say don't make those decisions off of that emotional basis. Because some examples, Sam, that they do right, that we just need to get out there. Angry text messages will always show up in court and hurt you.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

I advise my clients is once you are in a divorce case, don't send anything that you wouldn't want read out loud in court. Sometimes that works. And sometimes clients are like, I don't care if they read it in court, you know, like I don't care. They should know what type of person this is. But you just need to be aware that how things also are read or perceived in text messages sometimes can be a lot more drawing than how you intended, right? If I if I text you, Jill, and say, girl, I'm gonna hurt you. Now, if I'm saying it, I could be like, girl, I'm gonna hurt you. Right? But if I'm texting and it says, girl, I'm gonna hurt you, and then you say, She threatened me, it's really hard for the judge to discern whether you are actually threatening that person or you were saying that jokingly, right? And we've all done that as advocates and saying, no, he he or she didn't mean it that way, and they were just fighting or they were just arguing, but depending on the date and what judge you get, they may see it differently.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

And the problem with text message is that once you send it, it's there, right? They have it, and a lot of people are like, well, it's taken out of context. Well, that's the thing about text messaging is that it can be brought into any kind of context that somebody wants to make it. Right. So you might have not meant it that way, but if you didn't do a laughing emoji with it, it can absolutely be shown as you meant it that way. So it's just best to just not do it. You know, you gotta get your team of people, your friends, your family that you can kind of word vomit to so that you can not do these emotional texts that are gonna hurt you in court. Because another thing that we see that is a real big problem is social media mistakes. I mean, we see it so much where they use social media as their biggest self-sabotage tool. And can I just tell you, I don't care if you've blocked your ex, they will find your social media, they will inevitably get it. In fact, I've heard people that say, Oh, my social media is super locked down, it's super private. And people are still finding your social media posts. So if you think that you're posting because it's private is not going to be able to come and get into the hands of the other party, you're just absolutely wrong. And it's exactly those, those social media posts that are like, you know, complaining and like, you know, woe is me. That's one thing. But you get those posts where you're putting quotes of, you know, that are very aggressive or, you know, very demeaning or shows that you are, you know, gonna burn the house down, kind of thing. They're just gonna come back and they're gonna, it's just not going to help. What do you think? Do you think that hurts people's credibility as well?

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Uh, I think so, especially in custody cases. I see a lot of these memes, quotes where it's like retweet if you hate your baby's father or something, and then they bring it in the court, right? And people argue, it's my first amendment, right? And it's like, okay. But I do think that it hurts because if I'm trying to argue that you're a great co-parent and you have the ability to co-parent and you want more time, or or you feel like you should be the custodial parent, and then they pull up this is the type of stuff she's posting or he's posting or their family member is posting. I do think that it hurts your credibility because I say family members because I run into a lot of times where they say, Well, I didn't post it, but I can't control what my mom posts or what my brother posts or what my sister posts. And it's like, yes, you you can't really control it, but you should have a conversation with your family members.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

But really, you can. Because if you were to tell your mom, like, take the post down, mom, it's gonna hurt me, they're going to do it. So that's exactly right. The court's just gonna look at it as a as a you know, de facto, like, oh, you don't think it's important enough to, you know, require them to take that down. And if you don't want the judge reading it out loud in court, don't post it. I agree with that. And it's and social media is just, you know, there's a lot of people that are out there that are using it for like validation, you know, give me validation, and really what it's doing is just not helping you in court. So, one of the things we want to talk about is this is social media is bad, and that's been bad for the last several years. But the mistakes that people make when they listen to their friends who their friends know, you know, they've been through a divorce or they know somebody that's been through and so so their friend knows everything that you should or should not do. And then we're going to turn to our new friend, Chat GBT, in in just a second. So, first of all, Sam, let's talk about like the biggest mistake people do and why it is listening to your friends about your situation.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

Well, the first thing that I ask them when they say, Well, my friend got a divorce and they agree to this and they only had to pay this. I say, Okay, was your friend married to your husband or your wife? Were they married to the same person? Because depending on the facts, depending on the people, right, a lot of times differs. And a lot of people settle, first of all, right? You have to be willing to marry someone or divorce someone who's gonna settle or who's gonna enter those agreements. And so if you are married to the person that wants to gotta hear it from the judge, then guess what? You may not get that same deal. I think also bringing family members into a situation that's already emotionally charged clouds the client's judgment a lot of times. Sometimes they can be the voice of reason, but I think a lot of times they offer too many opinions. And it's hard for the client to decipher or determine what they really want versus what their mom really wants versus what their dad wants versus what the family wants. A lot of the family's out for blood. And then when I kind of like peel back the layers and talk to clients, they're like, really, I just want to be divorced. I don't want to fight over all of that. And so I think it complicates a lot of things. And I think a lot of times it prolongs litigation.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

I agree with that. And I always say to my clients as well, that just kind of like what you tell your clients is that I have seen thousands and thousands of divorces, and you could say have the same facts, very, very same similarities, and get a completely different result, whether that's because you had a different judge or you had a different commissioner, or you had, like Sam just said, just a different spouse on the other side, or a really, really aggressive or non-aggressive attorney. There are so many variables that depend on that. And that's why when we say, like, have your tribe to be your venting session, your therapist. They're there to validate your feelings and to help you feel better about your situation, but they are not legal experts. Your attorneys are going to be the legal experts that are hopefully going to know the best pathway forward to helping you get this done as quickly and amicably as possible. There is a there is this like big like, you know, belief or myth that divorce attorneys just want to go to court and they just want to waste your time and they want to waste your money because you know, we're just rich people over here, you know, wanting to like like waste everybody's time. I want to just put this on the record and Sam, you if you disagree, you can say, if I wanted to be a very rich, fancy lawyer, I would not be a family law attorney. We're not here because we want to waste your time, because we want to make more money. Unfortunately, there are a few outliers out there of attorneys that maybe that is their goal. But we do this hard job. And I promise you, it is one of the hardest areas of law to continue to do day in, day out because we actually care about our clients. We care about what we're doing, and and we're not there to make your life harder. Our goal is to put you on a trajectory of moving forward, of moving past and getting to the other side of this. Now, whether it is meaning active litigation because the other side is just not coming to the table or protecting your children because of abuse, or protecting you because you know, of different things. We will do that for you. Any thoughts to that?

SPEAKER_00 14:41

I totally agree. And I always advise my clients my docket is full. Okay. So I don't need your case to churn any fees or to increase anything. If anything, I want to help you reach a resolution so that you can move to the next chapter. That's my goal. It's not to increase your litigation cost.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Amen. And that's at Quill Law, we're a high net worth, high litigation firm. We take really hard cases. We do that because we all active litigate, meaning all of us attorneys are trained in high asset divorces, business, tax, financial issues. And we all are trained to litigate, which means that we will take you through mediation, but we will then also take you to through trial. Having an attorney like that gets aggressive litigation, gets to fair and quick settlements. But at the end of the day, we are settling our cases throughout because of the way that we're there to protect you, your future, and your family. So the shifting, this has become a more recent mistake that we are now having to deal with that, you know, in my almost 20 years of practice have never had to deal with is AI having now to fight with my clients because ChatGBT said something different. And I want to talk about that because we we just got to get it out there. First of all, ChatGBT or AI does not have a frontal lobe, they cannot do critical thinking, which is why attorneys are still going to be necessary, even though people want to say that maybe AI will get rid of them. What that means is Chat GBT is going to be just like a friend. They are going to validate your feelings, they're going to hear what you're saying, and then they're going to give you whatever advice they get from their, you know, place of advice that is going to help you validate that. That is not critical thinking, and that's not actual legal strategy or not going to be what your attorney is going to do because we don't run by emotion, just like we talked earlier. So, so you know, we had to finally tell our clients, like, we're not going to argue with you and Chat GPT. Like, you write your emails, you ask your questions, and we're going to answer them, but you need to listen to us. If we find that we're arguing with an AI bot, we're going to just let you go. What are some of your thoughts and uh what you've seen, Sam, around AI and what's been happening recently?

SPEAKER_00 17:23

Well, so I don't dislike AI completely for my clients. I think it can be used as a tool, especially for my clients who have trouble with sending those good co-parenting text messages. So sometimes I tell my clients, hey, if you have trouble responding in a respectful manner, you can use AI to say, read revise this is good co-parenting, right? But I think where things get dicey is when you try to make AI an expert in your case. When you try to replace your lawyer with AI, thinking that it's going to save you money. Let me give you a little pro tip, okay? What happens when you send us AI? A lot of times it's a very long explanation. So we have to charge you to read that explanation, okay? Then it also quotes a lot of cases, cases that typically don't exist. So we have to then go try to find the cases that we then realize they do not exist because we've never heard of these cases, right? Still billing me for this time, okay? And then we have to respond to you to tell you that the thing that you sent us doesn't exist. And then we still have to go back and rewrite whatever it is that we're working on. So sometimes clients will send you things. Here's some help for the motion. And it's like other than your facts or your declaration or your statements or your personal knowledge, I don't need help with you finding case law or drafting things for me, right? I understand that legal fees are high, but it honestly cost you more money for me to review these things. And then I want to equate it to like if you were getting heart surgery, if you went into your doctor's office, right? You typically wouldn't have surgery and then take your doctor the instructions on how to do heart surgery and say, well, Chat GPT says that you can do it this way, and you don't need to open that valve, right? We are professionals and we have honed our craft. We know our judges, we know our commissioners, we know the things that the pressure points and where the landmines are. AI does not, and so I don't think AI is a terrible tool, but I do think the average lay person does not know how to use that for the tasks that are needed for the case.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Yeah, I agree with that. And the other thing is that people don't realize Chat GPT is not private. Like everything you put in there is open. And so you put in, you know, things that you don't want, you know, to know it is it is subpoena, it's kept in a database, and they're going to be able to retrieve it. So you got to be very, very careful about that. I, you know, my favorite part of trials is looking is getting the detectives on the stand that did the Google searches, right? We're able to download um what did this person Google search prior to or directly after whatever happened. And I always say you can't get away with murder anymore. That's kind of my joke. Because eventually they're gonna be able to find this trail of what happened. And Chat GPT is gonna be the next iteration of this. Like when we all sudden we're seeing the chat G, you know, relay of what you asked Chat GPT and the advice it gave you. And so, anyway, so you have to be very, very careful about that as well. About, you know, most family law uh cases are public. Um, there's not a lot that is private, you know, obviously financial things. You wouldn't want to put upload your social security number to Chat GPT, but you know, so there's stuff like that that you really need to be careful about. And we just want to reiterate that. The other thing I was gonna say, Sam, legal strategy is not like a like a oh, here's the strategy from A to Z, and we're gonna go do, doot, doot, do, do. Legal strategy is like a football game. Like you have to like pivot. You have to be able to have a coach basically that's going to say, okay, we're down by seven, and you know, Sam could. Do this way better than me because her she's a big football fan and her husband's a coach. But if you understand what I'm trying to say, is that that legal strategy is going to shift? And just because it shifts doesn't mean that your attorney is doing something wrong. The other thing is, is just because another attorney says, oh, their legal strategy would it should have been this way, doesn't make our legal strategy wrong either. There's a lot of different ways that you can go and approach a case. And we made the best decision that we thought was best for your case. And another attorney might think the different thing. In fact, sometimes judges make comments of like, oh, Miss Coyle, you should have done this. And you're like, Yeah, I could have done that, but this is what I chose, and this is a good pathway forward. So I wanted to just put that out there that don't make the mistake of thinking your attorney is always wrong just because maybe a strategy is changing. Now, I would say though, if your attorney doesn't have a strategy, has no legal strategy, then you might need to have a big old talking to because I I disagree. I train all my attorneys. Strategy, where are you going with this case? We're not sitting on cases. You have to know the direction you're going on your case, and your client needs to be aware of where that is as well. So I think that that's something really important to say as well.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

I do want to speak to that briefly. Just also, clients sometimes get rattled by the game plan since we're using football analogies. But, you know, we have a strategy, we have a game plan, here's what we're gonna do. And then opposing counsel files something and it has all these allegations in it, right? And the client asks, you know, well, what are we gonna do about it? What is our strategy? And it's like, we're gonna stick to the game plan, and here's why. And I just think that sometimes clients want us to be reactive or get on the defense when we're making good headway with where we are, right? And the other party is trying to like catch up to where we are, and and they sometimes think that we have to react to every move that the other side makes or predict, well, why are they doing this or why are they doing that, or what do you think? And it's like it doesn't matter really what they're thinking, like our strategy is working. Now, if it's not working, then that's different. But I think sometimes clients automatically want to abandon the game plan because of something that opposing counsel or the other party has done.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

Yep, I uh completely agree with that. And that goes to our next mistake that I wanted to talk about is if you're focused on winning instead of strategy, then you're going to be disappointed. And there's two things that we say all the time in divorce no one wins in divorce. And then, second of all, if you want fairness and if you want justice, you're gonna be disappointed as well. Let's go back to our football strategy. I think a lot of the best coaches in the the way that they coach is we're not looking at the end game, like, oh, of course they're gonna say we want to win, but they're not going to say, like, oh my gosh, there's the end, get there. And then they're done. They're gonna have a strategy, they're gonna have plays, they're going to pivot, they're gonna, you know, change their strategy at halftime if it's not working. That is kind of how you have to look at a case. And at the end of the day, it's not about winning, it's about obviously advocating for yourself and protecting yourself, your future, and your family. Because people become obsessed with punishment and revenge in divorce. That goes back up to our first mistake. Don't let emotions run the course of your case. Litigation fatigue, it becomes real and real quickly. And it gets really, really expensive. If you're wanting to win every battle, I tell all my clients all the time, dude, we got to pick our battles. This is not the fight that you want to be fighting today. You know, the emotional scorekeeping, it becomes super expensive and it doesn't get you anywhere.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

The petty, the, you know, I paid $6 for school lunch and they owe me $3. And I want to file an enforcement because we're supposed to split it equally, right? One thing of advice that I would give clients is stop using kids as an excuse to be petty, right? A lot of times clients will say, it's not about me, it's about the kids. And then we talk to the private guardian at Lightham, and the private guardian at Lightham is like the kid just wants them to stop fighting. Okay. You know, the kid feels in the middle. The kid wants to be with both parents. And so stop using kids as an excuse to be jerks to one another.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

And a lot of times, I mean, we say this when you get divorced, you're removing each other from the situation that was bad and was toxic. And so that's a good thing. Once we get you removed from the toxic situation, then we can work on building you back up to where you recognize that you are a person, that you deserve happiness, that you deserve to move forward. But sometimes we just want to sit in our victimness. And we understand there is a time and a place. And sometimes, you know, in some cases, people have been very, very beat down emotionally and financially, physically, sexually abused for a really long time. So we understand that those are the cases that are going to take time and understanding. But again, we can get through that and get you standing up again. But when you just want to focus on, well, he treated me so poorly in the marriage, I want to, you know, fight, fight, fight, or she did this to me in the marriage, you know. And it just becomes this like, like you said, pettiness, that's a great word for it. It's just going to end up with you being disappointed and probably spending a lot more money that you just don't have or could be used for your family, right?

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Jill, I do have a question because I I liked when you said if you're looking for fairness and justice, you're gonna be disappointed. Why do you say that they're gonna be disappointed?

SPEAKER_01 28:23

I talk about this a lot where I talk about people say all the time, well, I just want what's fair. And well, what is fairness? Because Utah is not fair, it's equitable, and we're a shift of income state, which means alimony is gonna be in play. The person paying alimony is never going to think it's fair because they work, they provided, and now they have to continue to provide for the other side. But then the other side's been, you know, sacrificed to be a stay-at-home mom, has no education, doesn't have the ability to make a lot of money, and they're going to think, Oh, it's not fair. I should get more. If you're looking for fairness, it's not fair. That's not how the law actually works. And when I say justice, a lot of people are like, I want justice. They want the affair to be the reason why I get what I want or what I don't get in my divorce. I hear them, I understand that, but you're not going to get that. And so I always say, it's not a court of fairness, it's not a court of justice. We got to move past that. So I say that a lot because so many people want to use those words. I'm like, nope, we're not gonna use the word fair.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

I tell my clients all the time, if you're seeking justice, you're in the wrong court. You need to go down a criminal court, right? That's what that's where they hand out justice. Yes, you're not gonna get that.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

That's what I say. I was like, uh, the skills of justice were meant for the prosecutors and the defense attorneys. We're here just to like, you know, almost we're good, we're supposed to get you through this trying time of and get you back to peace, but I don't know if that is even a good analogy. So, and divorce is hard because you clearly weren't doing well in the marriage, right? You weren't communicating, something went wrong, and now you're expected to do it after the marriage when you're like wanting to move on. I mean, we always joke like wait till the the next pair more comes into the you know, everything is fine and dandy until the new girlfriend comes into the picture, the new boyfriend.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

That is a mistake. This goes to our nest next mistake. Let's talk about that, Sam, because like where it goes wrong. But one of the things that we would we would encourage is to not move on too quickly, or if you are going to move on, do it discreetly and don't bring the other the children into it or the party into it until at least the divorce is done. Because how many divorces, Sam, have you seen? Just like we're getting there, and then all of a sudden the girlfriend or the boyfriend comes in and everything blows up.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

That's right. Absolutely. Uh, I should get a shirt because I tell my clients this don't date, mate, or procreate before the divorce is final. And it never fails, someone gets pregnant, or both parties get someone pregnant.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

Sometimes not that dramatic, but it happens more.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

But it happens and it makes things so much more complex, especially when you're nearing the end and you think you have a settlement, and then you bring in girlfriend, boyfriend, whomever who now wants to say so in your divorce decree because they've been funding part of the bill of your legal fees or whatever, it just makes it so much more difficult. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

We've just seen it all, and then in Utah, in alimony situations, women, if they cohabitate, lose their alimony. And I say that on a gender, it totally is gender biased. It could be flipped because women do pay alimony, but historically, a lot of times the man is the primary bread earner. And so, so the man can go and move on and and date and get married again. But if the woman does that and cohabitates or wants to get married again, she loses her alimony. And so it just causes a lot of emotions that are not helpful. The other thing I'm gonna say from a behavior standpoint is that you gotta get better with yourself, right? Yeah, divorce should be used as a platform to be like, huh, that didn't work out so well. Maybe I should take some introspection and figure it out and get better and spend some time with my kids.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

One thing that I can say in practicing in both Texas and Utah is Utahans, a lot of people get married very, very young. And so when they're getting divorced, they went straight from mom and dad's house to their spouse. They've never been alone, they've never, a lot of people, not everyone, have gotten to learn themselves. Maybe they got married at like 19 or 20, 21, and now they're 35 and they have four kids, and they've never went to the movies by themselves, you know. And so I tell people, it doesn't have to be a death sentence. You can go and figure out what you like and what you enjoy without having to consider someone else.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

Absolutely. And remember, no one dies from divorce. I know it might be hard right now. I know if you're in the thick of it or you're about to start this process, it might literally seem like you can't move forward. But I look at it as like a divorce is like a nuclear bomb. The nuclear bomb goes off, and you're like sitting here in a cloud of fallout, and you can't even see in front of you. Emotions are high, and you just don't know how you're gonna move forward. But the fallout is eventually going to dissipate and you're gonna start seeing more clearly, and you're gonna be able to realize that you can move forward and you can take a step, you can take until you're like, oh my gosh, I'm breathing again, oh, I'm standing again, oh, I'm moving forward again. And you will get past this and you'll look back and you'll think, okay, I handled that. I did that. I did I can do hard things, and because of that, I'm gonna stand up, I'm gonna use this as an ability to become a better version of myself. I'm gonna be a better mom. I'm gonna be a better father, you know, I'm gonna be an okay co-parent because I have to now. And those are gonna be the things you're gonna be able to look back and be like, okay, I'm okay. And Sam and I see it all the time because we see the divorces and we see those people that were in those high emotional stakes, and then we see afterwards, and they're happy and they're thriving and they're doing okay. So if we can tell you any of that, we'll get you through this. You'll get you can do this, and we can do it without making those big mistakes that we see some of our clients do. We can get to a place of equitable and amicable solutions that maybe aren't perfect, but you know, are good for you. Any final thoughts, Sam?

SPEAKER_00 35:29

I would just say take heed to not making the mistakes. Be smart, be wise. And I always tell my husband's players the same thing. If you can't be smart, be careful. So make sure one of the two chooses a path.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

I agree. I agree. I love that. Your behavior during divorce shapes your outcome more than you think. The people who do best are rarely the loudest or the angriest. They're the people who stay disciplined, strategic, and focused on the future. Last thoughts, Sam? Ditto. Awesome. Hey, Sam and I are here for you guys, and this is just a really great episode. Thank you, Sam, for joining us. You're awesome. Thank you for having me. You're welcome. That's another episode of No One Dies from Divorce. Catch us. Make sure you follow us on all our social media platforms and join us next week. Thanks, Sam.

SPEAKER_00 36:28

Thank you.